Alucard in Wonderland
by immortal-memory
Summary: my first story on this site! Is Alucard dreaming or is this some sort of sick joke?


Alucard was tired, the affair in south america had tired him out completely. If only he could find out where Walter had hidden the blood bags...Walter on cammand from Sir Integra Winegates Hellsing moved the selection of bloodbags every sunday during the day. Once Alucard would find them, he would drain them and slump back into his "royal" chair, and most definately take a long nap.

So far he had searched all over the usual places, the kitchen, the study, the living room, the office, the library, the soldiers coffin, the maintenence room, the artillary room, you named the places and he had most likely already looked there. Alucard had even knocked on all the walls to hear for hollow parts into which Walter might've hidden them. He had probably, no, make that definately searched the entire Hellsing mansion for "food".

If you can even call it that, Alucard thought as he sighed and dropped the shovel, with which he had been digging holes in the garden to see if Walter might've buried them somewhere. The shovel dropped with a loud thud, as Alucard thought about the mansion.

"I have been everywhere, except Master's room..." he muttered

A wide grin started sliding across his face. He looked around the garden, shrugged and made his way back up to the mansion. Once Alucard reached the heavy doors of the mansion, he pushed them open and made his way up the stairs. Alucard was about two corridors away, when he heard the voices of the soldier and Integra. He edged closer to the door and listened closely.

"Why can't you just tell master about it?"

"Because I won't be here Ceres! Now do you think you can handle that one little message?"

"Yes...I mean no...sorry I mean yes"

"Yes or no?"

"Sure, I'll try..."

"Alright, now: when you need a supply of blood, the bloodbags are in the secret compartment of the fridge"

That was all Alucard needed to hear, whatever it was that the soldier was supposed to tell him he would hear later. He went down again, scared some maids along the way. When he was at the kitchen door, he heard someone whistling "BANG, BANG MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN". He poked his head through the door opening and saw Captain Bernadott drinking a bottle of scotch. Alucard grinned, he was obviously not the only one who planned on raiding the fridge late at night.

This was an easy obstacle. The poor captain was too drunk to even notice him, let alone remember the next morning that Alucard paid a midnight visit to the secret compartment between the fridge and the freezer. Alucard stepped from behind the door and walked casually over to the fridge, the captain turned to face him and started laughing drunkily.

Alucard just ignored him and opened the secret compartment, got out the entire selection of bloodbags. And walked casually out of the kitchen, stopping at the door to say goodnight to the drunken captain. Alucard drained the bags and did what he had planned to do: slump into his chair and take a long nap.

Sleep wasn't hard to catch, within seconds Alucard was in a deep sleep. He started dreaming that he was falling down, while he was falling he saw several objects: chess pieces, looking glasses, cards, peppermills, school uniforms, watches and clocks, tea pots, hats and a pipe. THUD! He had hit the ground, he stood up, rather dazed about what had just happened. He dusted himself of and looked up, the pieces were floating around silently, when he looked back down he was face to face with the younger version of Walter. The way he had looked back when they worked together in W.W 2.

The younger version of walter was tall and slim, he was wearing the same oufit as always except now he was equiped with a top hat and fingerless gloves. He was looking at a golden pocket watch.

"Please don't dawdle Alucard, we are very late indeed"

With that he ran off. Alucard ran after him, was it his imagination or was Walter shrinking in size? It was definately not his imagination, Walter had shrunk enough to go through a tiny door. Alucard was left behind and looked as though the next time he would see Walter, he would choke him to death. Alucard heard movement behind him, he spun around to see what it was and was face to face with Rip van winkle, grinning widely.

"Hello Rip" Alucard said casually, as if this was the most normal thing in the world "Welcome back from the underworld".

Rip just grinned a wider grin, "patience is a virtue, and with my lowest incisors towards you Alucard, I suggest you save up your patience. For this is going to be a living hell"

And with that she disappeared. Alucard was dumbfounded and didn't really know what to say about the whole thing. He walked of and started thinking, was this some sort of sick joke? Or was he actually dreaming this? Whatever it was, without noticing it, Alucard was walking on a checkered floor. When he woke up from his trance he was facing Alexander Anderson, dressed in white knight clothes.

Now what, Alucard thought. Anderson bowed and looked him straight in the eye, for once this psycho didn't seem out to kill him.

"You seek a way out of here" he said, Alucard looked at him strangely.

"Shouldn't you be trying to kill me" He said, Anderson gave him a confused look.

"Kill you?" he asked almost laughing, Alucard raised his eyebrow. What the hell, he thought. Anderson turned around and walked of, Alucard following him closely. Anderson lead him into a dense forrest, and didn't look back once. Aderson stopped in front of a bunch of gigantic mushrooms. Alucard looked closely, and sure enough another one of his 'friends' was sitting there: Incognito, smoking on a pipe of hash. Alucard looked back to where Anderson had been standing, but he had somehow disappeared...

"This is a joke right?" Alucard asked in a mocking tone, showing his fangs in a toothy smile.

" Why would this be a joke to you?" Icognito asked taking another long inhale of the disgusting weeds that were inside his pipe, the smell clung to everything: down to the last slime-covered toadstool.

"What is this? Where am I?" Alucard said, suppressing the urge to burst out laughing. Incognito just looked at him and raised an eyebrow, as if to ask Alucard 'like you don't know', Alucard answered the look by baring his vampirismic fangs and raising both his eyebrows, causing wrinkles across his forehead.

"You are in Wonderland, and the only way to get out is by killing the Red King. Who just happens to be a total ass, who believes that he's better than everyone else" Incoginto said, puffing another 20 clouds of the disgusting smoke from his pipe. Alucard was surprised, for a minute there he thought he was actually supposed to kill the Red Queen, which character was it going to be this time? It couldn't be Anderson, he had been the white knight. Alucard cocked his head and looked at Incognito with no real surprise in his eyes, after all: he was a mass murder weapon in a human body, equipped fully from guns and a red coat to fangs.

"And which loser, might I ask, is this Red King? And why am I not pursuing to kill the Red Queen, as in the original Wonderland story?" he asked , still having his head cocked and his eyebrows raised.

"The Red King's name is Enrico Maxwell, and you aren't pursuing the red queen because you're in MY control and I decide who you kill!"

Alucard laughed and reached for his guns, Incognito was too busy smoking and marvelling at what he had just said to notice. Alucard pointed, aimed and cocked the gun and asked Incognito one LAST question:

"And where do I find them?" Alucard asked nonchalantly, still having his gun pointed at Incognito's head. Incognito licked his eyeball and started sweating, he didn't have this one planned ahead of schedule, it was something about the insane look in Alucard's eyes that proved he was enjoying this. Scrap that, he was loving this….

"In the land of the fire, past the maze with the card-necrofags, in the castle surrounded by lava, in the south-wing of the castle, behind the door guarded by millennium" Incognito answered, sweat beads going down his face. Alucard didn't lower his gun, still keeping his head cocked he smiled his toothiest smile.

"Why thank you for that kind information…goodbye…" With that said Alucard pulled the trigger on his gun and fired. It was one clean shot, right between the eyes. Alucard turned around and couldn't suppress the laughing anymore, he made his was through the forrest laughing hysterically. This was going to be one hell of a night!

When Alucard reached the land of the fire, he was immediately faced with an army of small fire imps, this amused him greatly. The fire imps were no taller than one of his arms, and one bullet did the trick of getting rd of them. 'The only thing they are good for is wasting my time' Alucard thought. He was walking along the rigidly bridge to the castle, when he heard feet behind him, it was exactly two pairs. He spun around only to see two uniformed look-a-likes: Victoria Ceres and Milleniums little Wolf brat. 'They must be Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum' Alucard thought instantly, apart from the fact the Ceres didn't have ears: they seemed a perfect match to be the most annoying characters of the story. They both bowed deeply and the both of them took out a kitchen knife.

"What, you are going to poke me to death with your knives?" Alucard said smiling from ear to ear, "I would have thought better"

The pair of them just grinned and jumped:each one jumped on one rope and ran back to the beginning of the bridge, they stopped and sawed through the rope with their kitchen knives. Alucard's smile faded and he decided it might be good timing if he ran of to the other side, but his legs wouldn't move. 'This is embarrassing, I refuse to run away from those brats!' he thought, but unfortunately: gravity didn't leave him with much choice. The bridge was falling too fast…and his legs still refused to run, what was wrong with him? He could shoot them later on the other side! He felt the bridge disappear from under his feet, he felt the wind soar through his hair…he felt himself falling towards the very fires of hell.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, why wasn't it working! He felt himself change, into a million small bats. He flew over to the other side of the lava, the heat weakened him and the transformation had taken a chunk out of his energy. He landed onto the floor, and transformed himself back. He looked ahead of him: there was a huge maze, made out of neatly cut hedges.

Alucard had no problem getting through the maze, the dunbasses had practically shown him the way! The necrofags were called up by the Red King, all Alucard practically had to do was keep quiet and follow them through the maze into the castle. Once he was through the heavy oak wood doors, they closed behind him. He turned around. And when he turned back, he was once again eye in eye with Rip van Winkle. She was smiling widely and applauding Aluacrd, Alucard could have sworn she had eaten too much sugary blood.

"You've come further than the others! They're all still trapped! Becoming characters of our little story" she winked at Alucard and gave him the thumbs up.

"Maybe you can tell me how exactly me and the 'others' got here" Alucard asked, as fun as it is killing people and things like that, this was getting B-O-R-I-N-G. Rip just raised one eyebrow and tutted.

"Bye! Bye!" she half whispered, and disappeared once again into mid-air, and once again Alucard started laughing hysterically. He doubled over and nearly lost his balance. He straightened himself up and walked casually along the hallways, occasionally shooting a picture of the different characters in the hallway. Alucard was enjoying himself again, it was almost as if he was a little kid that just got told that school was banned for ever.

Alucard reached a staircase, it was made out of bones and teeth. He shook his head, reached for his gun and walked up the staircase, he looked up at the top, and there stood Walter. He looked at his watch intensely, then he looked back up to Alucard. He smiled and ran of as if he was trying to break the land speed record, this time Alucard wasn't going to allow him to escape. He sprinted towards Walter and pulled out his gun, then: the impossible happened, Walter ran through a wall. Alucard stopped, just in time before crashing into the wall and stumbled backwards on his heels. He grinned, and walked up to the wall: it was as solid as a rock, or maybe 7 metal barred doors. He decided to jump up against the wall, maybe it would move or something. He took a few steps backwards, it didn't seem enough but it was worth the try. He ran. He jumped, and he went through the wall. He landed on the other side with an unpleasant thud, whoever got him here was going to be hunted down and ripped to little shards of flesh! Alucard was sure that if he would ever find out who was responsible, even if it was Integra herself, he would…..well he changed his mind: he couldn't do that to Integra, not in one of his million years….

He woke up walking into a hallway, he was once again standing in front of two oak wood doors, 'now what!' he asked himself. There was a huge lock on the door, Alucard cocked his head, took out his gun sighing and mumbling obscenities under his breath and took one clean shot at the lock. But to Alucard's annoyance it went through the entire thing, it was another walk-right-through door, no shooting locks for him. He waltzed through the door with his gun as a dance partner, and that's when he saw the most REDICULOUS thing ever: Enrico Maxwell dressed like the Red-Queen. Alucard raised his eyebrow:

"Wait a second! If you're the Red-Queen, then who or where is the Red-King?"

"Heh, you didn't think it was going to be easy? You honestly didn't think that she would face you off straight away, did you?"

"She? But that maggo-" Alucard was cut off by a pain searing right through his heart, he looked down and saw the point of an illuminating sword, at the top of the sword were two crosses, it had been coated by holy water. The light coming from the sword was as bright as the light of the sun itself. The sword was yanked out of his heart, Alucard could heal from many things…but not this….and the only person who knew this was…was….

He turned to face his killer, his murderer. He could still feel the blood dripping across his chest as he stared in shock at his majesty the Red-King, he looked straight into a pair of rabid eyes glowing with madness and insanity…belonging to….no this had to be an illusion….he couldn't be staring into the eyes of…Integra…Integra Hellsing…

"Master…" he uttered in a soft whisper, he couldn't find his usual voice now. A grin slit across Integra's face as she heaved the sword up for another stab at his heart, he could hear Enrico laughing hysterically behind him. Integra dived with the sword, aiming for his heart, the heart he loved her so much with…subconsciously he got his gun, cocked it and………………….BANG!

Integra fell to the ground, her hand moved to the wound in between her ribs. Alucard didn't laugh, he didn't even move…what had he done? He had shot the one woman he really loved and pestered in a sweet way. He had equalled the score between them…for he was dying as well. He stumbled towards Integra's side and knelt down, she was shaking of an non-existent cold, her breathing was ragged she looked at him with a different look in her eyes. It wasn't the business look she usually gave him, this one was filled with a mixture of feelings: anger, sadness, hatred…love….

The room vanished into a bright light, he held Integra close to him…but it wasn't enough….she was slipping away…..this…couldn't…be…happening……and that was his last thought before letting go of Integra's finger….  
He woke up with a jolt and banged his head against the lid of the coffin, wait a second: how did he get in his coffin. Where was Integra? He threw open the lid of the coffin and jumped out, only to be face to face with the soldier.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a mocking tone while pushing past her out the door,  
"Where's Integra!"

"Lady Hellsing isn't in the manor, master" Victoria Ceres blurted out.

"Well then where is she?" Alucard asked impatiently

"She's dead…she has been so for the past five years, don't you remember? You killed her"

………………………………………………………

"master?"


End file.
